Worgen Innuendo: a list compiled from everywhere

Feel free to claim credit in the comments – I assure you I am not witty enough to come up with these sort of things on my own; they are from conversations, guild chat, wow forums (indeed mostly from the wow forums) etc etc. Stashing them here for safe keeping so I can copy/paste comebacks in trade chat for hours O_O Topics range from being in heat, sniffing crotch, where one buries ones bone… and then there’s the six nipple thing. I figure blizzard is removing tree form because of the potential worgen toilet jokes. But anyway please find below fuel for the corny worgen jokes that will flood the game for the first few weeks upon Cataclysms release no doubt destined to make barrens chat look tame.

Heh maybe I’ll keep adding to this post as they will no doubt keep em rolling out on the inter-webs for some time to come :p

And then SHE said...

Fur/Heat/Nipples and other Yiff stuff (for when you can’t think of anything better to say)

  • I have hair in more places than you know.
  • How about we go behind the bushes and yiff?
  • You can pet me all you want…
  • Does my fur make me look fat?
  • I gave up on waxing a long time ago.
  • My barber uses hedgeclippers….
  • No…I don’t have six, why would you think that?
  • What the hell?! I just finished shaving!
  • *Sniff* *Sniff* Hey? Are you in heat?
  • Yiff Yiff Yiff
  • You like my new coat? it’s faux fur.
  • Is is just me or is it getting warmer here?

Bone Jokes (the bone stuff is like the lamest of the one liners O_O because it is so … you know subtle)

  • Is that a bone in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?
  • lets go burry some bones…. if you know what I mean
  • Knick knack paddy whack…
  • So how about givin’ this dog a bone?
  • I like big, hard bones.

Pee Jokes

  • I gotta pee…Anyone got a piddle pad?
  • Don’t worry – I don’t mark my territory.
  • Ok, group loot rules… first to pee on it, gets it.
  • This is mine, and this is mine, and this is mine *pee sounds*
  • Ever seen a yellow snowman?

Squirrel jokes (and other ‘UP’ references)

  • Yeah, and the guy says to me that he cant sta-SQUIRREL!
  • Some people think we can not retain civilized manners while in worgen form. I find this a great insult to the gilnean com-SQUIRREL!!!!
  • It’s taken a strong will and alot of focus to overcome this curse, but I think in time we can – A SQUIRREL!!!!
  • My guildmaster made me this collar. He is a good and smart guildmaster and he made me this collar so that I may speak. Squirrel! ….
  • Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, “I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead.” Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
  • Can’t let you do that /no
  • What is with this stereotype that I chase squirrels? I find it offense– BUNNY!

Grandma Jokes, the Big Bad Wolf and other fairytale references

  •  The Cataclysm didn’t destroy the Graymane Wall, I huffed, and I puffed, and I blew it down!
  • No, I am not hungry, stop asking.
  • I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll–rip your face off.
  • YES, I have a deep voice, YES I have big ears, YES I have big eyes–and big teeth–do you have anything else to say?
  • Dinner time!
  • WOLF! Oh, false alarm.
  • My, what beautiful eyes you have…
  • So…who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?
  • I swear that girl in the red cloak was already dead when I got there!
  • Lets get kinky, you put on that little red dress, & I’ll dress up as your grandma.
  • My what big feet you have!
  • And so the little girl says what big teeth you have…..
  • You’re everything a big bad wolf could want.
  • Is this your red riding hood?
  • If I don’t find love before the last petal falls…
  • Sure, i kept the granny’s nightgown…. sometimes I like to feel pretty
  • Ok I’ve got some straw, sticks, bricks and some pigs who wants to BBQ
  • hey baby, what do ya say we get to huffin and puffin and blow the roof offa this place?

Scooby Jokes (these did indeed amuse me the most, hee specially the rank and realer business)

  • I’ll run you through SM for a Scooby Snack.
  • Scooby. Dooby. Doo. There. Happy now? Anymore childhood memories for me to act out?
  • Rank!? Realer!? Rhere are you?
  • Ruh roh…
  • I ruv roo
  • Let me at em, let me at em!
  • Puppy Power!

Excessive Twilight stuff (it had to happen I suppose)

  • No…we don’t sparkle….
  • Jacob whats a jacob?
  • I wish people would stop asking me if I know an Edward Cullen
  • Hello, have you met my friend Jacob? I last saw him on the New Moon
  • The twilight? A new moon? Oh holy hell. I have to alert the king! The Twilight’s Hammer Cult is going to blow up the moon!

Pop Culture and some wow in-jokes and worgen puns

  • Who let the dog out?…you, you, you, you
  • I think Timmy fell down the well again
  • let’s do it like they do on the Nesingwary Channel!
  • So I was in the Stormwind park asking a guard for directions and all he said back was “what’s that lassy?”
  • let’s do it how they do it on the discovery channel
  • RUN AWAY, LITTLE GIRL, RUN AWA-…oh, sorry. I thought you were someone else.
  • I know I buried that epic around here somewhere.
  • If Chuck Norris was a Worgen, he would be immune to Silver Bullets.
  • Where’s a mage when you need one? I need a decurse bad.
  • Q: how does a tauren hide?
    A: he dresses like a tree and paints his balls red
    Now, the follow up
    Q: what’s the loudest sound in the world?
    A: A worgen eating cherries
  • Watch this — I can lick myself clean. Yeah, impressive. Even more impressive in Worgen form.
  • hey baby, wanna do it worggy style?
  • I’d be a worgen permanently but the fleas are torture
  • So I grouped with this Night Elf hunter the other day. It went pretty well, but it got awkward when he tried to feed me.
  • The last priest I was grouped with tried to give me a shot. I bit him, too.
  • I’m a Mog! Half Man, Half Dog. I’m my own best friend!
  • Pant, pant, pant… Oh don’t flatter yourself, honey, I don’t have any sweat glands
  • I see a bad moon risin’.
  • I’m hungry like the wolf, baby.
  • My Tauren name would be dances with Worgen
  • Do people give you this many fetch quests? …ooh, this one’s repeatable!
  • You know how to whistle, don’t you? You just put your lips together and blow. [AAWWWOOOOOOOOOOOUU] wait, that’s not it.
  • The other day I had some lamb…or was that a rogue? Darn polymorph.
  • What are you trying to do? Tame me?
  • I AM NOT AN ANIMAL…oh wait…
  • So I was walking through Elwyn Forest last week when I passed this well and heard someone calling for help from inside, and would you believe there was a little boy in it? and he wanted me to…. uh oh.
  • Pardon me for saying this but uhh…AAAWOOOOOGA!
  • I got you a present…but I buried it somewhere.
  • I’m banned from Darnassus… it’s not my fault… that druid just had to go into cat form…
  • What do you mean Blizzard is going to “Fix” me next patch?
  • Wow! If I had known hunters could Mark things from that distance I wouldn’t have rolled a rogue.

 Even more general references to Wolves, Dogs and Werewolves

  • Y’know…dog is said to be man’s best friend.
  • Want to scratch me behind the ears?
  • I rolled in something dead just for you.
  • Am I being a…bad dog?
  • Listen, I got your ball back for you now stop throw-*sigh* Fine.
  • I like long walks in the park, curling up by the fire, playing catch, and eviscerating my enemies…what? Too much on the last one?
  • You know, I never really wanted to be a savage beast tearing people limb from limb….
  • It’s technically true…but call me that again and I’ll bite you
  • Anywhere I can get a peticure?
  • I never need clothes.
  • Yes, it’s raining outside… and yes that smell is me…
  • What’s that, you want my number you say? It’s one, as in top of the food chain
  • Wanna to see the beast within?
  • Don’t blame me when you see teeth marks in the morning…Rawr.
  • Don’t worry…I don’t bite.
  • I’ll show you my ‘wild’ side.
  •  I used to be a werewolf but I’m alright nooooooooow!
  • Don’t look at the moon…don’t look at the moon….don’t look at the-DAMNIT!
  • I’ll let you rub my belly.
  • A romantic dinner, soft music, me, and your leg…what do you say?
  • Please forgive my attitude, Its My Lunar time of the month.
  • Baby, you couldn’t make me love you more if you were holding a tennis ball.
  • Mmm… most of this drool is over you.
  • The next person who makes a ‘leg-humping’ joke gets a knife through the face!
  • I never forget a leg.”
  • No thanks, I don’t need a party. I’m more of a lone wo-…oh, screw you.
  • Bite me. Please?
  • Women just can’t resist my human-shirt.
  • Don’t worry. My bark is worse than my bite.”
  • Did I just step in something?
  • I AM doggy style baby.
  • Itch… behind… ear… must… not… scratch!
  • Please? Don’t make me give you the puppy dog eyes.
  • Wanna teach this old dog some new tricks?
  • You might want to get that bite checked buddy. And I don’t mean for just rabies.
  • Who’s leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?
  • Don’t blame me! It was the human that farted.
  • Keep staring, I might do a trick.
  • I have fleas, care to help me scratch?
  • Flea! I meant… just run away now before something itchy bites you!
  • Flea market? Never wanted to go there, if you know what I mean.
  • Roses are red violets are blue can i use puppy eyes and cuddle with you
  • *Sniffing sounds* “OH! Sorry, it’s how I say hello
  • A guy comes up to me and says ‘I haven’t had a bite in a week,’ so I ate him…wait that’s not right.
  • You scratch behind my ears I’ll scratch behind yours.
  • One nibble from me will change your life forever
  • No it’s just drool…hey put that gun away…wait
  • What? No, I was just playing dead!
  • I know roll over, sit, and stay, but I’m particularly good with KILL.
  • I’m man’s best friend, but for you I can be MUCH more.
  • If I followed you home, would you keep me?
  • You have any idea what a city full of wet dogs smells like?
  • Dog gone it!
  • If you ask me to go Walkies one more time…I’m chewing up your slippers.
  • Oh you’re so cute…I could just EAT you up.
  • I’m a gentlemen at the table and a beast in bed.
  • My leg kicks if you rub my belly…. go on… try it…
  • As of last week, I’m flea free.
  • Why yes, I am a Babe In Total Control of Herself.
  • I have a strong compulsion to hug your leg in a very rhythmic manner.”
  • I like it Ruff
  • Uhh….my favorite color?
  • Who are you calling ‘pet’?
  • Sorry, that’s just how we say ‘Hello’. You hail, I sniff.
  • I’ll bark up your tree any day hottie
  • I just got a new necklace, this one gives me much more stam and protects against fleas.
  • Does this leash match my eyes??
  • Don’t be shocked if I start hugging your leg…
  • Would you like to be my personal chew toy?
  • How about you roll up a newspaper and we’ll play “Bad Doggy”.
  • You want to sniff me first or should I sniff you?
  • I don’t shower often. It cuts down on that wet Worgen smell.
  • Let’s go back to your place… I promise Im housebroken.
  • I dont want to fight! I have a wife and 10 kids to feed!
  • YOU clean it off the carpet!
  • For dinner tonight, I want some fine italian angel hair with garlic and onion tomato sauce with some fresh shredded basil on top, and for desert, creme brulee. Oh. I guess canned food is just as good…

Revamped Werewolf jokes straight from the school joke books

  • Q: You know why there is no Worgen firefighters? A: We weren’t very good at getting the cats out of trees
  • Q: Why was the werewolf arrested in the butcher’s shop? A: He was chop-lifting
  • Q: Why are werewolves thought of as quickwitted? A: Because they always give snappy answers
  • Q: What do you call a lost wolf? A: A where-wolf.
  • Three legged Worgen bursts into a saloon and yells: “I’m lookin’ for tha man who shot mah paw!”

Those dreaded resto tree potty joke (not so many after all)

  • grrrrr wheres a restoration druid when you need one
  • So many trees… So little time…
  • I love Druids…especially in Tree of Life form. A healing partner and outhouse in one. Perfect.

FUBAR Warning

Spelling worgen backwards and thinking you are being clever for pointing out that it is the word negro (Hmmm is negro still considered a derogatory term these days? In Australia it is all “black cunt” “white cunt” when peeps start laying into each other with the racial insults) isn’t well… clever. It is an old old tactic which happened a lot when the game was first released. Because its not new it is even less than not-funny it is not even slightly witty…  mind you if someone is being a lame (and out of date this joke is old! It is yr 2004 old) racist little shit I suppose you can always retaliate with a DOG = GOD comment. O_o frankly ima thinking to opportunity to refer to worgen women as bitches will allow us to weed out the dicks pretty fast – report away my merry female friends, report away.


About Bytes

Returning wow player, one of those elderly burnt out ex-officer types. My current main is a Hunter (MS the under-dog talent tree Beast Master), but thats shifting back to hybrid Shaman. Together with my virtual cat I battle evil, kick butt and take names.
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