Midnight Brain-fart

brain-fart – how uncouth a statement…but appropriate /yawn

So anyway last night/this morning/nowish – I bounce out of bed at 4.17 with the exclamation “omg what has happened to the old alliance xenophobia?”

This sort of sprang from the discussion I had over at the warlocks that evening; where they were feeding me because Christmas wiped my finances and instead of buying oats and breads like a sensible lass I blew my last $100 on cat food and a birthday present for the Pally … and you know…. those little purchasable wow pets because the Pally’s present came from the Blizzard online store and the Pandaran Monk made eyes at me and then after I bought him I worried about him getting lonely so I bought the other one too… cough*impulsebuying*cough… yaaar its a female curse.

Anyway I was over at their house free loading some butter chicken and some coffee and watching the Pally have a total girl dilemma over what race he was going to roll his new baby warlock as hordeside on Khaz’goroth.

Everyone in our local town playing community has returned to the Khaz’goroth fold. See it was the first oceanic server to open up so we all have grass roots there – with the coming of cataclysm peeps are transferring back to hang or rolling new toons to “level properly” by hitting every dungeon with dungeon finder and guild buddies O_O

The Pally has a reasonably high level orc-warlock alt tucked away on our main server… so he doesn’t want to go orc again… he maybe wants to be a beautiful blood elf female because he is a perv like that but their racials aren’t as appealing as what he is looking at alliance side… this is fascinating by the way – he is six-foot-something and bent over his computer in the manner of a 16 yr old trying to decide on the perfect date-shoes.

The warlock reckons he should go undead – but then she’s biased. No really biased! She actually thinks her undead arse is more attractive than my feminine orc six pack… and last I looked her spine was visible and she was losing pieces… I mean… if nothing else think of the hygiene issues O_o one day we are so going to have to have a bitch fight about this in Thunder Buff.

I see nothing wrong with having two orc-warlocks in the mix … but ima super biased.

We devolve into a huge discussion about the revamped alliance racials, we wonder together if horde will be in for an overhaul, we start pondering the new races promised: goblins and worgen.

Coincidently goblins sound perfect for the joined-at-the-hip-with-the-action-house Warlock. Me? Ima more interested in the worgan and am of course sad to hear that they are going to be alliance faction, because while I moonlight over in alliance and this will help that endeavor enormously, my heart is with the horde and any worgan I roll probably won’t ever be a main or make it to the level cap.

The Pally by this point is bemoaning that horde scored blood elves last expansion because draenei are sort of from demonic decent or ascent depending on how you look at it and they look like real horde freaks unlike the blood-elf population (well they look more outlandish what with the squid faces) and of course what he really means is: “I want the 1% to hit and the freebie heal instead of this silence thing I never use and the lame bonus to enchanting”

But I just woke up an realised that in original-flavour wow the alliance was human heavy and pretty much sort of xenophobic O_O let’s see they had humans, dwarfs (short stout humans), gnomes (humans they pretended were children) and night elves… okay night elves were outlandish and the humans got off on their pink fae’ness… but think about it night elves can at least wear shoes O_O unlike their close cousins the trolls so really very humanoid in comparison to the remaining races if you think about it. Yar and seriously when showing the game to new female friends (The Warlock is an exception to the rule) they would be all “omg gross” over the horde races and “I just want to play a character that looks like myself… something more human looking, horde are so ugly”

Yes ugly and proud of it you wus!

Let’s look at the horde races:
Orcs – green, pointed teeth… back in the day most human of our races, but really there was a lot of plot where Thrall was disliked n distrusted by xenophobic human types (Jaina’s a freak… I think she may have some kinda xeno-kink O_O) because he was a demonic ex-slave monster being. I mean really! The flash back to the past instances show you the farm-peasant-humans screaming when he rocks onto the scene.

See and then horde side Thrall fosters this accept the underdogs and don’t judge by appearances thing and makes an alliance with Trolls (can’t wear shoes mon…and too much teeth for the humans to handle), Tauren (they really are a bunch of sweeties the Tauren – the only reason they aren’t picking herbs with the night elves outside of moonglade is that well they look especially monstrous on the appearance scale) and the icky undead that humans frankly wouldn’t be able to handle being in the same room as what with the maggots and history and the fact that the undead eat em I suppose.

But wait: burning crusade comes along and horde get given the “pretty” race of nasty-elves (the blood elves looked so perfect appearance wise for the alliance that if you cruise the machinima out there you’ll see that they are always getting themselves packaged into little alliance flavoured romances and adventure groups :p hee) and Alliance get the friendly demonic squids from space who… well can’t wear shoes. And bingo somehow blizzard has managed to change the nature of the Alliance federation of races… maybe they just grew up lol.

But thinking about the-good-ole-days made me remember how interesting it was to see that it was the least human race that fell to the alliance side of the board game last expansion and how most of us in my social circle found that pretty surprising. And it looks like it is going that way again – seriously maybe a few patches down you are going to see the Alliance being all mature and negotiating with Thrall (without yelling ‘ugly monster beast’) and then we will all be standing around stormwind speaking a common language in cafes or something O_O

OMG what will happen to the battle grounds??? O_O


About Bytes

Returning wow player, one of those elderly burnt out ex-officer types. My current main is a Hunter (MS the under-dog talent tree Beast Master), but thats shifting back to hybrid Shaman. Together with my virtual cat I battle evil, kick butt and take names.
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