Okay first let's try and get this outa the way quick like a nightelf cleavage bounce:

My altaholic twinge kicked in last night, after about a week of resisting and reading tempting blog posts about how wonderful the fire festival season is for levelling alts. Well I caved and I rolled a night elf druid on a (new for me) oceanic PVE server … and I made her all pink and blue which was about the furthest I could get from a hordie look I reckon. I feel like a fairy & sunshine cupcake and I am happy because change is like a vacation … or something.

Anyway my warlock buddy came along for the ride (green cupcake) and we hooked up with the paladin (now a purple cupcake) who was already 8 levels ahead of us … bastard. And we rambled around the night elf starting area for about 3 levels before I had a head/desk episode and remembered that the loot was better over at the island of blueberries (purple cupcake was already over there… bastard.)

There is something novel & fun about being bagless, penniless, guildless, and in my case barefoot. We jigged together a ‘low-budget-guild-channel’ by setting up the usual custom chat channel. The NE episode was probably inspired by the desire to score the black cat form. I mean I have about 4-5 druid characters in the 20-40s but they are all horde – horned lions by day, horny (cough… couldn’t help it) cows by night. I also felt like a making a cupcake, usually I try for a more natural look with the elves (well I try) … have always avoided the colour pink… but eh.

Anyways the warlock pops up with a comment something like “elves jump so much because they gotta run everywhere and it’s boring as all fuck, so you hit the jump key and try for a forward flip and that’s entertaining” – and I was *oooh * epiphany moment.

I mean I had always thought that Blizzard added the night elf jump as some kinda psychological mind game … like: “hey elves are meant to be bouncy” says Blizzard “let’s throw in a flip that expresses the elves athleticism and the players will do the work for us. They will jump around a lot to see the flip. Making them a gay (as in happy) and frolicish race.”

But it’s deeper than mild entertainment, the elf quest, even in the tiny starting zone (pause for warlock quote: “This place used to be bigger… didn’t it?” Me: “nope – outlands changes your perspective on big – oh look a little piggy I wanna tame a little piggy!” ), even in the starting zone you run up to that spider cavern, then back to the tree, then way up the tree, then back to the spider cave, tree, cave, tree… it was worse when they had that really long moonwell quest line.

As you run you get bored, so you bump the jump key… maybe you get a flip… you run a bit more and bump the jump key to entertain yourself and get another flip, you’re still running (this is the NE lands) so you, hmm, bump that jump key again. But you don’t get a flip… foiled you find yourself hitting space bar till you do get the damn flip. Anyhow after you have finished your lvl 1-10 quests you’re a conditioned jump-flip gambling addict.

You will be bumping that space key without being 100% aware you are doing it. You will secretly believe you have the gift of the jump and that there is some kind of special timing to hitting the jump key to get the flip. If you see another elf flip as they run by you will feel a small desire to show them your flip. Like yawning, flipping becomes a contagious social phenomena. You will go from stoic hordie to bouncy-bouncy *oh hell I am having bounce withdrawal I had better bounce again* elf.

Then you log back onto your Orc and find yourself ungracefully jumping over the back of your pet as it returns from the kill during farming runs, and you know it was all some kinda insidious Blizzard mind game.


About Bytes

Returning wow player, one of those elderly burnt out ex-officer types. My current main is a Hunter (MS the under-dog talent tree Beast Master), but thats shifting back to hybrid Shaman. Together with my virtual cat I battle evil, kick butt and take names.
This entry was posted in Great Green Hunter, Humour, Old Blog Content, Snake in the Grass, World of warcraft and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Okay first let's try and get this outa the way quick like a nightelf cleavage bounce:

  1. Dave says:

    I agree. It’s an evil conspiracy!

  2. Lactic Acid says:

    Oh yeah … evil bounce … mutter mutter

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